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Why Am I So Romantic? (redux, 2012)

by King Toad

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1.
Eleanor Anderson fell on the awkward again– The plot has gone sour, & there’s no one to reel it back in. Not this time… But I am still talking, so: Don’t you call here again. Don’t you know who I am, my dear? You’re losing it, yep. Who will be with me when I go away? I don’t care. But you & you alone can see through this hole in my shoulder again. And I said: Don’t you call here again. Don’t you know who I am, my dear? You’re losing your mind, & I will too.
2.
Easy 03:41
And you do… (Everyone I see is missing something) Just take it easy, there’s no wrong answer. (Everyone I see is missing something) And you do… And you do, you define yourself by the things that they tell you are true. And you do, you define yourself by the things all around you. And you do… (Everyone I see is missing something) OK, just take it easy, just take a deep breath: In… and out… (Everyone I see is missing something) And you do… All right… You can tell me, yeah, you, y– I want you to feel comfortable here. You can tell me whatever you like & I swear to you it won’t leave this room. (Everyone I see is missing something) And you do, you define yourself by the things all around you. And you do, you define yourself by the things that they tell you are true. Oh. (Everyone I see is missing something)
3.
Fable 01:43
I woke up on Sunday with venom on my breath, Surly & sarcastic I forgot about my death. Put your hands on my head & my heart. I dreamed I had a nervous breakdown, I dreamed that death is beautiful, I dreamed that my cat ran away, and all of that seems plausible. Put your hands on my head & my heart. I woke up on Monday & I fell out of my bed. I knocked the wind out of my lungs & a crack into my head.
4.
Scarebo 2000 01:30
I met some friends of mine outside at a funeral. They said, “Look around, see the sadness that’s surrounding you.” “Oh,” I said, “I can see; it don’t bother me, not any way. You can have what you want, you can have it right now, just take it.” You can have what you want, you can have it right now, just take it, here. And please take it any way.
5.
Someone’s coming up the stairs. You better be careful & you’d better beware. They’re not here to be your new best friend. They’re not here to be your new play-thing. Someone’s coming up the stairs. All this trouble’s been bleeding you more than dry. All this trouble’s been bleeding you more than dry. But you’ve got some friends left in town, There are plenty of couches to sleep on for now.
6.
You picked the locks & found my letters in the basement. Cracked the story, wrote it on the bathroom wall: The epiphanies, you found religion there. It takes a miracle to bring the dawn each day, but you don’t notice it. Trim the pieces, fit them neatly, blocks of color spell the shapes out, See my face from down the hall… just how you’d pictured. Dump the scraps and make it simple, now I will be with you. Oh the version that fits you’s just a story to get through and You’ll never notice me now. Carry you (I can).
7.
Let’s have a fun time together, let’s have a good time. I like you. Let’s have a fun time together, let’s have a good time. I like you, so let’s have fun. I like you, uh. Hello? Let’s have fun. Let’s– hello? I’m trying to talk to you because I like you. Hello?
8.
Run 01:11
Go 1-2-3-4, I fell down but forgot to hit the floor. I go 5-6-7-8, go middle of the world, go sliding down the grate so Run. Run from me. You’re not listening. Run. Run from me. I’m being scary. I’ve been gone for years, Sitting on the couch til I finally disappeared. So who come-a knock-knock-knocking on my door? I’ll be staring at you til you’re not there anymore so Run. Run from me, you sad puppy. Well Run. Run from me. I been waiting many years for this. I’ll be kicking up clouds of dust, you go: “Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!” You can’t breathe in through your nose, man. But you better stay on your toes, man. I go 9-10-11-12. I’ll save your little bones & I’ll keep em on a shelf. I go 13-14-15-16, you’re telling your daddy but you know he can’t get me. Run. Run from me. Are you listening? Run. Run from me. I’m being scary.
9.
The old man lay on his death bed saying, “I think there’s still one thing to do. Come close I’ll tell you my last regrets, I’ll tell all my last secrets to you.” And he said, “I still want lots of money. I wish that I’d ____ all the girls. Everything’s gone, I’m so close to the end & I haven’t learned one goddamn thing. My family won’t speak to me, strangers avoid me, children are scared of me. Life’s a game, I guess everyone loses it, but I’d like to rack up some points before I die. I said, if life’s a game I guess everyone loses it, but I’ve got no more friends on my side.”
10.
Walking home through the graveyard, somebody called to me. They said come over here & speak to us, you got something that we need. And I was apprehensive, still I headed on their way, And when I got there they leaned close & whispered in my ear… “…Boneyard King.” That’s what they called me, and it didn’t put my mind at ease. Still I stayed with them awhile. In fact, I stayed with them until I wasn’t scared at all. I wasn’t scared. Cuz it’s a… Boneyard King, you Boneyard King. You said it’s never been & so it never will, And if you felt it once I guess you feel it still. You said it’s always been & so it always will, And if you felt it once I guess you feel it still.
11.
Who took my clothes & who took all my new granola bars? Who took the things that made it nice to sit out in the yard? I will use these stupid thoughts to build myself a bigger hut, And climb up on the roof & watch, And see the sky until it’s dark forever (or worse).
12.
Do not bite off more than you can chew, do not bite off pieces of you. You cannot feed off yourself, but you can surely feed off someone else. Do not bite off more than you can chew, don’t pick fights if they’re bigger than you. You cannot feed off yourself, but you can surely feed off someone else. Oh yeah. The flesh it falls off, you find out your own anagram. The flesh it falls off, you find out you are your own anagram. Take this advice you’ll see, there are plenty of people to eat. And the devil steps in. And the devil steps in, right through the door. And the devil steps in, stands on my kitchen floor. And the devil steps in, right through my front door. And the devil steps in, la da da da. I go crawling towards the front door. And the devil steps in. Through my eyes. And the devil steps in, la da da da. And the devil steps in.
13.
At the end of the road you’ll find heaps and stacks Of this and that and that and that. Take what you like, it’s yours to keep. For now, I mean, but that’s now at least. That’s pretty good, right? I mean, that’s pretty good, right? You got plans to do this again sometime? The leaf on the tree won’t fall twice for me. But you’re free to practice finding the time when you saw it the 1st time. Finding the time when you saw it the 1st time… Who set my rear view mirror on fire? I’d like to thank them. The sun sets my hair ablaze like a lion’s mane. My eyes are burning, burning blue. I like how all these things, they make me think of you. Only you.
14.
Salesman 03:05
I am showered & ready. I am here on behalf of you, dear– Waiting for it to start. I was born to a salesman, Cut short, boring & bored. To see you only reminds me How I got here, What I lost there, How I left behind… I was here to remind you. I fell into this groove, Now I cannot remember a thing.
15.
Mumphrey Hogart, he’s a Hollywood legend. Must be in league with the devil. He must know the tricks of the trade To stay alive in this cold, cold world. Mumphrey Hogart, he’s a real live rebel. Must be in league with the devil To stay alive so long. Mumphrey’s alive. He’s still alive.
16.
All the time you spent Is all you’ll ever get, Is all you hope to get. Nobody’s searching for your remains.
17.
Glitter 03:02
Bricks laid on bones. Who’s going to sympathize now? Bricks laid on bones. We are not deceiving them, Only believing ourselves. It goes: Put your faith into me, Put your trust into me. Put your eyes on my hands and I’ll ask you to leave. Bricks laid on bones. All our atrocities swim & blend, In our house built on homes; Call it philanthropy, invented philosophies serve your end. It goes: Put your faith into me, Put your trust into me. Put your eyes on my hands and I’ll ask you… Well, no point asking how. No, we wouldn’t believe it. And no point looking down. No, we still couldn’t see it. And do you expect the world to die for our sins today? Bricks laid on bones. We shine with the brightest, We glitter like diamonds, all clenched in a fist that’s Cut off at the wrist, & you’re home. It goes: Put your faith into me, Put your trust into me, Put your eyes on my hands & I’ll ask–
18.
Why must you stop when you’re just having fun? Why must you stop when the fun’s just begun? You’ve done nothing wrong, Don’t go back to your home in hell. And why must you stop when you’ve done nothing wrong? Why must you stop when the fun’s just begun? Everything’s fine, You’re just losing your mind this time. So why must we? Why must we? My whust me? Why must we? Why must you stop when you’ve done nothing wrong? Why must you stop when the fun’s just begun? Nothing’s wrong, don’t go back to your home in hell where you live. Why must you stop when everything’s fine? Why must you stop having a good time? When there’s nobody else you can play with yourself.
19.
Like having a feeling & thinking a thought.
20.
Some Day 04:39
Tree trunk, split open. Left us… standing…
21.
Split Open 03:25
Tree trunk, split open. Left us… standing… There where you left us… Standing in midair for you. Tree bark, split off the sides of the branches. You looked for your path and you Looked in the grass & the ground.
22.
5min. 01:43
Take this down, transcribe it for me. Yes every word, yes even this part. I've found the secret that all girls want to know. I've found the secret that all boys need. And the people all shout, "Hello, hello!" And the people all love me so. With only 5 minutes to go we didn't waste it, just kind of missed it. Under 25 inches of snow we couldn't fix it so we dismissed it. And the death of all the things you love must bring you some relief I hope. And the death of all the things you love must bring them some relief.
23.
24.
25.
The Heat 01:28
“Aaah” go the fiddies and the momma fiddie, too! Cuz they know I don’t know what I’m doing, Weed and coffee makes you stupid. All this seeking, all this searching, It ain’t rest but it ain’t working. And it all comes down to this.

about

Originally released in October 2008, I soon became unhappy with the overall sound quality of this album and set to work remixing & remastering. It was a slow, grueling process; some of the "ugliness" was irreparable & inherent to the songs, but by the end of May 2012 I decided "Romantic?" was sufficiently improved to warrant its re-release. Which is this, right here.

credits

released June 1, 2012

Written & performed by King Toad except where otherwise noted.
Tracks 10, 19 & 24 contain excerpts from "3 Little Fishes" by Saxie Dowell.

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King Toad Iowa City, Iowa

Making a noise and multi-tracking it since 199something, mostly here in my room/s in Iowa City, IA.

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